The Revengerists: War of Glactar Issue 1
This is part I in the Revengerists: War of Galactar series. See the following issue here. Click here if you want to know more about Lazer Cats. Prologue It was just a normal day on earth. We see shots of people walking around golf courses, shopping malls, getting coffee, watching movies, ordering large stuffed crust pizzas, getting angry at customer service, and generally celebrating christmas in march. After that the narrator who happens to be Breshvic Penicillin suddenly announces "THIS IS NO ORDINARY DAY! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM????!!!!!! Tune into The Revengerists Compound." Shot of the r=coompound . Inside the compound we see Harbjar giving orders to scores of Interns. Many of them are scrambling around the base carrying various construction objects like planks and hammers. Harbjar shouts to them "We need to get this entertainment stand done by the end of the night or Dr Tasty is going to miss the big football game" One of the Interns attempts to notify the Master of Foremans that there is no football in march but he is gunned down by Justice Man. "JUSTICE IS SERVED, WASTE" Comic #1 Off of Earth we are now on an alien planet full of scary buidings and ruins and stuff. Dr Tasty is investigating a large structure while eating a bag of funyuns. He pushes a button and it begins to glow. He thiinks to himself (this is indicated by a thought bubble that kind of looks like a cloud if any of you non comic readers don't know what I'm talking about or how we can see a person's thoughts) "Man I could really go for some ice cream, why am I eating these nachons." Duddenly he realizes (BEFORE the planet starts to change) that the planet is starting to change because "Oh-oh, I 'shouldn't have said that'" becuase the what the thing was he just said an ancient incatiation that changed the planet forever into a living being whose cells are mean robot zealot blobs that want to kill him for being impure. (but we the audiience do not know this yet, we think it is just mean robot zealot blobs, not that they are immune cells) Tasty Dr. easily kills every single of them, but now Galacter has no imminity and gets sick and dies. It is just at this moment that the other living planets show up for the conference in space, they are mad. Dr. Tasty beefs up real big to fight them all. "Now I know what is going down." Comic #1.5 back Back on Earth, the other Revengerisms have just saved Monaco from the Sand Dolla, a minor league sand theme villain who was easy to vanguish, but killed lots of rich people and stole because Monaco is like welthy person iland. now that they have won They are discussing going back in time to hollow out the moon and use it as a observory base. "Unfortunately, there are too many hollowed out time-travel-shares occuping time and space in the spacetime of the Earth moon. We will have to use tricky legal techniches to snare the ever-lovin' eminent domane out of one. All the big-time lame superheroes who think they're so great presswhores already have them, like Richard Branson and Steve Jobs." So they set in motion a plan to oust somebody so desperately over-trying to be Awesome (even though Richard Brason is a Natch *Revengerist Semi-Annual #4). But how to do this? they wonder. Jim VIvas gets a bright idea for once. SO... While on the moon beating the tar out of Steve Jobs, he gets shot up with cancer rays and the Revengerists are diggin their sweet new pad, complete with functioning doomsday device (Commodore Bob 'always wanted to get him one of those'). "But we are not a destructve team, and this is not the tim for destruction." They recieve a distress call at the new adress and find a MAMMOTH PRINCESS of SPACE looking hot and mammothy. They look at each other and drop ther jaws (and even Odd Jog drops his burrito) and are like 'what the fuuuuck?' For she is an Awesome too, "of a faraway race that also has those and she is not only their Princess of a large pan-galacic empite, but also master of all alien-kung-fu styels and protector and gaurdian of her subjects" (where she is from she does both it is normal). She says all this and then they ask her what the "fuck is going on" and she drops the bomb on them that she needs their halp! THIS IS THE END OF The Revengerists: War of Galactar Issue #1 TUNE IN TO THE NEXT PAGE ABOUT ISSU E#2 Category:Events Category:Battles Category:Comics Issues